And I would totally read a novel with Interview With a Clampire as the title. Because you know, clams and vampires are probably the coolest thing since that pirate ninja I found in my basement. (The pirate ninja makes shuriken, which frankly are of low quality because he makes them from the bones of dead rats) Anyway, I don't have a clampire to interview, so I guess I kind of lied.
Neenar neenar!
But look, something else interesting! It's me!
AUDIENCE: (silence)
Oh come on! I'm interesting! I do things! Often! So anyway, I took the difficult position of asking myself questions. Today's interview theme is "general"! Which means the questions are general. You know, like favorite color or how many toes you have.
I have nine toes! I don't know where the other went!
Anyway, here we go.
What's your favorite color?
Probably lime green and purple, or the combination of the two. I'm also fond of red because it's the color of romance and Twizzlers.
What do you do when you're happy?
I sing loudly when I'm happy. And I usually make up songs about the things I'm happy about. Like today, we went to DQ and I got a free dilly bar with my kid's meal. (HEY! I'm a kid) I was soooooo happy!
Right . . . . So --
Want to hear my song?
Okay.
You're all jealous of my Dilly bar
You're all jealous of my Dilly bar
Went and ordered all by myself
and they pulled the bar from the Dilly bar shelf.
YAY!
That was beautiful. So, what foods do you like?
Dilly bars! Yay! I also like ice cream in general. I like sandwiches, and lasagna, and pizza, and cheese. There is something comforting about about cheese, don't you think?
What is your favorite song?
"Prayer of the Refugee" by Rise Against, "Shake It Out" by Florence + Machine, and "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel are my favorites right now.
What thing really grosses you out?
Dirty hair really grosses me out. I can't stand it. I mean, I'm a hair person. One of the first things I look for in a guy is his hair. I can't run my fingers through dirty hair.
What thing really creeps you out?
Jello. I just take one look at it and think, why?
What was the strangest thing you have ever done?
I raced another person in an epic challenge to take a picture of the elusive "goose" first. I won, ha ha.You had to be there.
Have you ever been kicked out of something?
I've been kicked off of a golf course for posing on it with other friends. I have also been kicked out of a hotel buffet bar for stealing whipped cream to smear on my face. (Same day)
What do you find attractive in a guy?
The single most attractive thing I find in a guy is his sense of humor. I don't care about looks so much so long as he can make me laugh, and laugh with me. I also like guys who genuinely like children. Physically, I like broad shoulders a lot. And I like well muscled arms. And good hair, as mentioned above.
What's the most boring thing to you?
Shaving my legs. Painting my nails. Talking about politics. I also find doing my hair really boring.
Was this fun?
Totally!
Oh hey! I found my tenth toe!
With love,
Esther Perisho
Just reading the word "Clampire" brought back memories..
ReplyDeleteHuzzah, actually knew all of those things about you! *high five*
You look really cute in that picture. I haven't seen that shirt in a while, it brings out the blue in your eyes.
Zachary
Wow Esther :D! You are full of energy, I like ice cream, but I wouldn't go that crazy for it :D!
ReplyDeleteNice, you found you last toe too :D!
Have a good day,
Jose
@ Zachary -- I know! It reminds me of the good old biology labs where we disected all of those fabulously dead creatures.
ReplyDelete@ Jose -- I love ice cream to death. I would would eat an orange for a klondike bar, and I can't stand oranges.
Esther