Esther's Biggest Pet Peeves

You know, when I say "biggest pet peeves" I imagine a really fat peeve, which is a pet of mine with a long, cylindrical body and wiry googly eyes. Maybe I'll show it to you later. Anyway, I'm not talking about my pet peeve, which is awesome, but rather some of my many pet peeves, which are things that annoy me.

Now, I must say that I am a very calm person. I can take most things in stride, you know. Like, if if someone scribbled on my locker in blood "YoUr NeXt", I would totally be fine with it. However, upon noticing that the assailant spelled "your" instead of "you're" I would get so angry oh my goodness why THE HECK WOULD YOU DO THAT?

*Cough*

But hey, I'm good. I don't have rage issues or anything. So here are some things that annoy me just a little bit, because I'm not some rage monster.

When people are driving and they throw their cigarette butts out the window, I get annoyed.

So let's say you're driving in your car, and you take one final, glorious draw from that cigarette. Your car is filled with the thick fumes of your smoke, practically teeming with it. That's perfectly fine with you though. However, you look at that cigarette butt in your hand and you panic! What are you going to do with it? It's just so large and space consuming! If you keep it in your car, then there will be no room for your beer or goat cheese! Or your beer! So you casually roll down your window and flick your dead cigarette out of it.

"Thanks for the good times," you say.

This makes me rage for so many reasons. First, if you are content with yourself about forcing people to breathe your smoke, the least you can do is make sure that those cigarettes don't bother anyone else in any other way. But instead, these glorious people do their best to make sure that these cigarette butts land in everything. You walk on the side walk and you see the stubs stuffed in the sidewalk cracks. You see them in the flower beds. You see them in lakes. Lakes! Think about the ducks! Those adorable fools will devour anything! Do you really want our planet's ducks to eat concentrated carcinogens?

Poor ducks.

And it's all because people get lazy and dump their trash for someone else to deal with. Congratulations on discovering that if you don't see your trash, it isn't really there.

When I have to decipher text messages, I feel unhip, and so I get annoyed.Hey! how r u? I luv u! TTLY!

Um, hey. I don't know how "u" is, but it's probably fine. It's a cool letter. And I don't know why you luv "u" because I don't think letters need to wear that popular diaper brand. And why do you want to Take Tally's Little Yak? I like yaks. . .

I guess I'm not with the times, but sometimes I'm sure people text me bizarre acronyms just to josh me. (I said josh! See, I'm hip!) If I don't what you are saying, I'm afraid I can't communicate with you. And then you'll have to reiterate and that just wastes more time than typing the word in the first place. Or, what I am more likely to do if I don't understand your text, I'll just say
lol

Because I'm pretty sure lol means "I have nothing to say to that, but I feel obligated to comment".

So text it right the first time.

So I don't have to lol at you.

I don't want to have to do that.

When parents don't let their kids be kids, I feel pity for the child, and then I get annoyedI volunteer at the library, occasionally in the young people's section, so I run into a lot of parents. Now, I see a lot of good parents, and I see a lot of parents that need to practice their craft. I was manning a sign up table for the summer reading club, and a parent came up to join. Her son ran up with books from the children's section. He couldn't have been more than seven.

"He scored really well on that one reading test that nobody cares about because kids learn at different speeds," she said. Okay, maybe that wasn't what she said. But that's how I interpreted it. "He reads chapter books."

"That's great," I said.

Then she saw the books in her son's hand and said

"You are too old to read those! Go get a bigger book! You can do better!"

First, reading isn't a sport. Second, if your child has found a book he actually wants to read, you better let him doing it. Forcing him to read something he doesn't like will only make him hate reading. Instead of trying to prove how talented and grown up he is, let him be himself.

And, I still read little kid books. Who doesn't love Henry and Mudge?

When people don't bathe their elephants and then let them go play in the bubblegum field, I get annoyed.

. . . Just . . . why?

When people decide to simply loathe music only because it is popular, I shake my head and try to remind myself that we are only human. And I get annoyed.

I see posts on Facebook that Justin Bieber should die because his music is so bad. I would never wish death on anyone, not even in a joking way. But for people to say those kinds of things is just pathetic. Yes, Justin Bieber should die because he plays awful music that you must listen to all the time.

Wait, you don't have to listen to it?

Then why are you talking about it? Because you are unique for hating Justin Bieber, and you must talk about it? Sorry, if you want to prove your individuality, hating on a popular music star isn't going to get you far. Not to mention, if you are hating on him just to sound different, you aren't sounding very different because so many people are trying to sound different in the same way.

Complicated, but true.

Quick, go hate on Twilight even though you've never read it! Go!

And please, don't read Twilight. I hate Bella Swan even more than I hate Katniss Everdeen

________

There are some of my pet peeves. Honestly, it was hard to think of them. I guess most things don't annoy me. Oh well.

Maybe next time I'll just write about peeves.

Or not.

Is it melting?

Hugglebunches!

Esther P.