I'm Back! Or, "The Marvelous Moving Memories of Madge McDoodle".

Hi guys! Do you recognize me? Probably not. Here, let me shave off my moustache . . .

*BUZZ*

There! Still don't know? It's me, Esther! Have you all missed me? I have certainly have missed you. I haven't been able to post lately because we have been moving, and our new place didn't have internet.

FRENCH AUDIENCE: Quelle horreur!

Oui, mon petit audience Francais.

Or something like that.

Before I get into the meat of this post, I would like to thank Hannah for all of her hard work. She has been blogging her splendid bottom off, and has been totally understanding about the whole ordeal. I love you, Hannah. You have nice hair.

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So, what has a girl like me been up too? Mostly moving. Allow me to relay my experience upon your eager ears. If your ears aren't eager, I will reward you with a picture of a beautiful human being at the bottom of this post for all of your trouble. No skipping ahead. (That means you, Daniel.)

Last month I was polishing my cheese sculpture when my parents told me that our house was being foreclosed upon. Of course, I was devastated. We needed to be out of our house by the 13th of June, which was less than a month from then. So we needed to find a place and move into it in a very short time.

ONE SEC NEED TO FEED FAT RODENT

Okay, back. Sorry about that.

Anyway, we were in deep trouble. We needed to find a place as fast as the speed of sound. So we hired the Flash to take a look around town for a place to live for us, and he found this nice, shiny apartment complex. 

That paragraph was completely true except for the Flash part. Luckily we found an apartment that was actually bigger than our old house and would suit us fine. It doesn't have a yard, which sucks acorns, but there is a "play area" which is an expanse of grass without trees. Who needs trees anyway? It's not like they supply us with a valuable two-atom gas or anything. My lungs run on carbon dioxide anyway.

We have a lot of heavy stuff thanks to our "inheritance". After my great-grandmother died (May she be comfortable in Heaven) she left of a lot of heavy, wooden furniture. We were going to need a lot of sexy, muscular men to help us move the stuff to our new place.

But we couldn't find any, so we asked some of my friends to do it instead.

I'm just joking, Z, D, and C. You are all sexy beasts. And C's siren song gave us the ability to keep going through the hot day. And make us want to call him, maybe.

Using their manly arms and strong legs, we managed to move all of the heavy stuff within a day. We barely broke our moving helpers at all. We almost killed them a few times via a very large and thick fishtank, but we didn't!

Want to know what I did to help?

I stared at them while they picked up boxes, muttering voodoo enchantments that would assist their strength, but shorten my own life-span. I now expect to live to thirty-three.

We managed to get the rest of the boxes into the house over the next few days. We are still unpacking, but we are officially moved. We said goodbye to our house yesterday. It was all very dramatic and sad. We had lived there for about ten years -- the longest we had ever lived anywhere. I wish that we didn't have to move, but I'm accepting it. It's just a new opportunity in my life, so I should use it.

Also, this apartment has two bathrooms . . . it is kind of awesome. Our tiny old house had just one. I have a family of seven, so it gets crowded sometimes.

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Let's see, what else? While fellow teenage buddies were over, we played a totally adult game of hide-and-seek. I used to kick butt at this game, but my skills have diminished. I tried to sit down and pull a large cardboard box over my head, but I didn't fit all the way, and my socks peeped through the bottom of the box. I also got really hot and sweaty because apparently boxes don't come with air conditioning. Other hiding places were inside cabinets, under beds, in closets, standing right in front of the seeker because you couldn't find a place in time.

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I tripped on a manhole cover and scraped my knee yesterday. The scrape isn't bad, but I have some kind of strange invisible bruise. It's like a ghost bruise. I'll name it Ghostie.

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I started writing my novel, too! Without the internet to distract me, I have gotten a lot of work done. I'm up to 14,000 words! I will probably post an excerpt from my novel soon. It is unedited, but I would like to share it with you guys.

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Well, that's pretty much the catch up for me! I'm back and Esther than ever. (OMGLOL) Thanks for waiting for me to come back. It means a lot. Oh! I totally forgot to give you your picture of a beautiful person. I hope you didn't peek. It will be quite the surprise.

Great. Just . . . Beautiful.

Eat your chicken nuggets,

Esther