Six Songs That Make My Ears Ooze Snails

In case you were wondering, oozing snails from your ears is a bad thing. It means that the music that you were listening to was so bad that it prompted your ear canals to create new organic matter in order to block out the sound -- in the form of snails.      

Yum!

It should be noted that I really have no taste music. If I do have taste, it certainly isn't very good. This means that I am in no position to share my opinion on what bad music is. Therefore I am sharing what bad music is like to me.

In this countdown, I will list six songs that currently plague me through the radio on the way to volleyball practice. In no particular order, here we go!

#1. Fireflies -- Owl City

Let's start out mellow. "Fireflies" by Owl City is not outstandingly bad, but it annoys me horribly. The singer, while super cute, sounds really weird in this song.

But mostly, I believe this song is nonsensical. If you can make heads or tails of what it means, then go for it! Some of the imagery is rather beautiful, so I don't slaughter this song whenever it comes on.

You can listen to it here.

Worst Line:

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep
-- Try to make sense of that.

#2. Want U Back -- Cher Lloyd

I heard this on the radio once. The beginning was kind of upbeat, and catchy. I was starting to accept it.

And then the singer went "UNNNNGH!"

And I was pushed back into my seat. See, she does this regularly throughout the song, and soon, only the only thing you can concentrated on is when she "UNNNNNGH"s, and it becomes a horrible listening experience.

Also, it features Astro.

Nuff said.

You can listen to it here.

The worst line

UNGH!

#3. Rumor Has It -- Adele

Sweet, sweet Adele. I love her. I admit that her songs are quite overplayed, but that's because people like them. But unfortunately, I simply can't stomach "Rumor Has It". The chorus is so repetitive that it makes me cry. Adele is so intelligent that I wonder why she chose a chorus like this.

Well, rumor has it rumor has it rumor has it rumor has it that I don't want to listen no more.

You can listen to it here.

Worst line

What do you think?

#4 Give Your Heart a Break -- Demi Lovato

I like Demo Lovato okay as a person, but I'm not a fan of her voice. She can sing pretty well, but some types of tones just kind of grate against your ear. But mostly it's the repetitive tone and chorus and the cliche lyrics that get you in this one.

You can listen to it here.

Worst line
I don't want to break your heart
I wanna give your heart a break

#5. Where Have You Been -- Rihanna

Thank you, Rihanna.
This starts out okay, but the chorus sounds like Rihanna has been beaten in the diaphragm multiple times with a waffle iron.

You can listen to it here.

#6. Starships -- Nicki Mybuttisbig

This one will dig into the depths of your brain, never to get out again. It's so dang catchy. And the worst part is that it really isn't a good song.

Also, it makes no sense. I mean, I guess the beginning does ...

But why is she a starship? And is she high in a literal or metaphorical sense?

Also, if foul language isn't necessary, then don't use it. It just makes you sound like you don't have a vocabulary. Sheesh.

You can listen to the (UNCENSORED!) version here.

Worst Line

"TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR!"

What . . . why?

Oh right. She's a starship. That's why.


Enjoy your music!

Esther