Circles . . . It's Always Circles

Hey everybody!

I went to the fair yesterday. It was a fair experience! HAHAHA...
Hmm, I just became very sad.

Ignoring the really bad pun, I thought I would fill your ears with an actual life experience of mine. Nice change of pace, yes? So, I went to the fair with my friends yesterday. It was a lot of fun. I didn't take pictures because I am stupid.

Let's start from the beginning.

Our fair is one of moderate size, full of rides and junk food. A wonderful mishmash of human beings attend it every year. There, you can see loving couples holding hands (or other body parts) or you can see a shirtless (white) guy with a beer belly hollering "Yo! Dawg! Totally happening. Yo."

It's great.

The problem is, the fair always takes place in the middle of July, during the hottest time of the year. I think the guys that run it are trying to lose weight by sweating all of their bodily fluids onto the brittle, yellowing grass. If you can ignore the fact that the heat is literally killing you, the place is lots of fun. I'm just more susceptible to heat than most people are. I walked around in public in a cami for the first time yesterday to avoid the heat. And I think everybody else just wore what they usually did. (Shorts small enough to be underwear, and tank tops that are so tight that their cup filleth over, if you catch my wookie)

Sloshy the Kappa would have been miserable. His head water would have evaporated.
But gosh darn it, I was going to have the time of my life. So I got my arm stamp that granted me entrance and followed my friends to the first ride.

The Ferris wheel!

Give me a rollercoaster any day of the week, but goodness, Ferris wheels scare the heck out of me. The only wheel that didn't make me nervous was the London Eye, and that was only because I was inside a giant capsule. I went on with my six year old sister Laney, and when we sat on our death bench (it was open to the air), she was all like:

"Yay! Yay!"

And I was all like:

"NO TORNADOES! NO TORNADOES!" because there is nothing worse than strong wind when you are up high.
And we rotated into the sky, and then rotated towards the ground. And we repeated this about four times. And during this time I uttered a monologue that Shakespeare would be proud of. Here is its approximation:

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, we're going up! Hold on Laney! Don't let go of your handle bars! Sit back! Sit back! You don't want to fall out! And sit up straight, too. More balanced that way. Oh, oh, oh, we're getting pretty high now. Isn't this fun, haha? This is great! We're so brave Laney! So brave! Oh, oh, oh, oh! We're at the top now! Wow! We're so high! Don't let go of your handle bar, Laney! Don't let go! Hold on tight! Ha ha! I'm not scared at all! OH, OH, OH. We stopped at the top! Now we just get to swing here in the wind! Yay! Oh NO! WAS THAT A BREEZE? Stop blowing wind! Ha ha! So much fun -- STOP ROCKING! Hold on Laney! Hold on!"

Yeah...Not my proudest moment.

Anyway, we continued through the fair, enjoying ourselves. I saw this giant stuffed cow that hung from one of the fair games, and I fell in love. I mean, it was more than half as tall as me, spherical, and fat. I loved it. That's why I was kind of disappointed when Zachary spent ten bucks on a game that didn't even offer the magical cow.

I mean, it was a cow. A fat cow!

We rode on the swinging hammers, which was great. Those didn't bother me at all. But then we rode on a ride that goes in circles.

Let me vent this. All fair rides are circles. The most popular rides are the ones in which your seat rotates while also spinning around an axis, while revolving around yet another axis in a sweet solar system of spinning doom. I tend to avoid these, but there was one that was where you lay down on your stomach and just floated gently around a pole.

That couldn't be so bad, right?
Ha ha, yes it could.

Afterwords I got so sick that I couldn't talk. I just mumbled about until I found a bench on which to lug myself onto. At this point, I would like to thank Zachary for saving my life and all that. You sacrificed your good time to make sure that I didn't fall off my bench. Thank you.

I think it took me about fifteen minutes to recover, and I was never really the same. I had changed.

Not in a psychotic way, but you know.

I did have enough to go on the bumper cars and bump some serious booty. My first target was a small, four year old girl. After I had slammed into her, she looked at me with such a shocked expression that I felt guilty.

And then she rammed me back.

Small children are devious, aren't they?
After this, we did some more cool things, and then we rode the fun slide.

Okay. I rode the fun slide along with my 13 and 9 year old brothers and my 6 year old sister. Someone was too cool to slide with me. But it was awesome. I slid down with Laney so I would give off the impression that I wasn't totally doing it for myself.

My bro Ethan slid down at the same time another toddler did, and when he got to the end he said, "Darn, I almost beat that little guy."

I also struck up a conversation with the maintenance guy that was wondering what I was doing screaming all over the place.

After that, we wrapped up the whole thing. I really enjoyed hanging out with all of my friends. We sang songs on rides, and we made silly faces at each other. It was a great experience. Thank you dad, for allowing us to spend our limited funds on such a frivolous expenditure. I love your guts.

Love every one's guts,

Esther

PS. The only thing worse than circles are spirals.