Stream of Consciousness -- Once More!

Hello everyone! I just realized that it would be such a terrible shame if this blog lost momentum again. That would be so nasty. Kind of like what you'd imagine Godzilla's dirty laundry to smell like. Anywho, I can't think of anything to post, so I just thought I would make this up as I go along. You know, write whatever's on my mind.

While the first thing that popped into my mind was a brain floating in a pickle jar, the image quickly changed to two ballerinas dancing over the Alaskan tundra. Neither of those are particularly interesting converstation starters, I guess. I've never been good with conversation. Because of this, I generally let people approach me first. I will only approach someone first for a conversation if

1) Said someone is family
2) Said someone is a friend
3) Said someone is a talking lizard
4) Said someone is a very attractive member of the opposite sex.

Of course, 4 can only go so far. There is a certain threshold of cuteness, you see. If a boy is too cute, my brain shuts down and all I can do is giggle and gargle in his general direction. Like, I took my siblings out to Hardees for lunch, and I saw this really hunky army guy. Dang, was he a catch. We like totally made eye contact while I was getting lemonade from the fountain drink machine. But I couldn't say anything. He could have been my soul mate, darn it. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. So I drove off into the sunset, cursing my misfortune.

Speaking of cursing, apparently I can't drive without cursing at least once. I need to fix that. My issue will probably dwindle as my driving skills increase, and I therefore collide into less objects.

When I said "objects", I thought of a wind-up music box. What do you think when you hear the word "object"? It's interesting how the human mind works. Everyone thinks  differently. Scratch that. Most people think the same. For example, when I mentioned that there was a cute army guy earlier you probably imagined a tall, muscular lad with blond hair wearing camouflage fatigues. Not that it's bad that people think the same. It would be nice if we were all on the same page.

Speaking of pages, if I had a green tiger that would be really cool. I would be like, "Dude, I have a green tiger." And everyone would be jealous and wish that their tigers were green. But even better, I want an armadillo lizard. I mean, look at them!



I would name my lizard Amontillado. Everyone will be jealous that their exotic armadillo lizards aren't named Amontillado. I think that Amontillado should be our resident animal mascot.

SLOSHY THE KAPPA: Hey! What about me?

Sloshy, you're our resident mythical being mascot.

ALMONDO: What about me? I thought

Almondo, you're our resident fan-service mascot.

ALMONDO: I don't like Amontillado. His name is hard to say, but it's suspiciously similar to mine.

I grow bored of this. I need to talk about something else --



OMG SOCKS!!!!!!!! I <3 Socks!

I love cute socks almost as much as I love Batman-themed underwear. Woo! Go socks! Go! What do you think, Amontillado?

AMONTILLADO: ...

You know, I think you and another silent fellow would get along! Say hello, Potato!

POTATO: ...

AMONTILLADO: ...

POTATO: ....

AMONTILLADO: ...

OMG AMONTILLADO THE ARMADILLO LIZARD AND POTATO FOREVER! I <3 POTATOES AND LIZARDS!

We should have a wedding, yo! A totally awesome wedding!

Hmm, I don't remember eating this second ice cream sandwich. Did somebody put an empty wrapper on my desk when I wasn't looking?

It doesn't matter. I LOVE ice cream! Huzzah!

I'm going to tell you something very personal. It has to do with noses. And fear. It's a fear involving noses. You see, I'm afraid of standing above anyone because there is a chance that they will look up my nose. Good heavens, the things that could be in there. I mean, I have a clean nose. But I've seen some gross noses -- ew.

But I like ears. I have a thing for ears. Just look at ears. I could marry an ear. Don't judge me, okay? Everybody has a favorite body part, and I find ears to be absolutely adorable. I discovered this from a young age.

Feet make me mad, though. They are ugly, ugly things.  I have collapsed arches, a botched foot-surgery, and a couple other things that make it hard for me to walk every now and then. I would gladly trade my traitorous feet for a black man's. People would walk up to me and say,

"Child, are those black man feet?"

And I would say,

"Yes, yes they are."

Good times.

Imagine, me jogging across the beach with my new black man feet, smiling and laughing and tossing my hair. I would cast a flirtacious look at hunky military dude, and we would hold hands and run off together and I would finally have one of them "boyfriends" I always hear about. We would watch The Lord of the Rings and eat popcorn, and have a Nerf war afterwards. Hunk would let me win, though, because I suck at shooting things.

Good times, indeed.


Esther

Stream of Consciousness ... Again!

Hey everbody!

It's been kind of a long day for me and so my brain is what a water balloon would be like if it was filled with pudding and left out in the sun for a few hours.

So, I forsook (makes more sense than forsake to me) originality and decided to do another stream of consciousness post! Yay for me!

You know the drill, guys. I talk about what's on my mind, from topic to topic, until I have a splendid mashup that I dare to call a blogpost. It was my brother's (Also known as "The Stud") idea. I like my brother. I'm a big family fan, actually. I mean, whenever I see teenagers that have perfectly loving parents, yet act like they don't care about family at all, annoys me to bits. When you have people that love you, you should immerse yourself in that love everyday. To form bonds with the people that will always be in your life is one of the most important things to live a successful life.

ALMONDO: That's why my kids, wife and I have family night.

Oh, that's nice Almondo.
WAIT. You're married?

ALMONDO: I thought you knew.

No, I didn't know. Who is this chick? Aren't you a little young? I never gave you permission to get married when I broke into your Pentagon office and took you hostage.

ALMONDO: Her name is Chashewette.

Cashew? Ette?

ALMONDO: I happen to think it's a beautiful name.

... We'll talk later.

Well, Almondo's uncanny ability to find people who share nutty names with him (HAHAHAHA) has left me a little confuzzled. What's next? Walnuttella?

Ha, you know what's shaped like a walnut? A volleyball. Kind of. And volley ball practice has started up again. Isn't that exciting? My skills have dampened to say the least, but I'm starting to get the hang of it again. I've started to condition, and it is a special kind of agony.

For the first forty five minutes or so, we never stop running, jumping, crunching, or doing pushups. It's killer. It's paying off, though. My legs are slowly morphing into sexy, sexy logs.

I love logs!

Do you know where logs come from? Trees. And trees come from forest.

I've always had a dream to walk through a forest wearing a flowing cape and holding a giant broadsword. The grass is green and lush, and the wind gently blows my styled hair.

And then a giant dragon appears, blue, its scales glimmering in the shafts of light that shine through the gaps between the trees, and then To Glory by Two Steps From Hell begins playing, and I run towards that dragon in a triumphant fight to the death.

Awesome sauce.

I wonder what awesome sauce is made of. You see, whenever I say it, I imagine a pale red liquid running off the side of a table, landing on the floor and melting through it.

It must be made of Chuck Norris's blood.

And apple pie! Yummy!

The only thing better than apple pie is apple pie with ice cream. I want some now. This post isn't quite long enough for me to leave yet.

I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck.

I'm stuck because all I can think about is apple pie...

I'm stuck I'm stuck I'm stuck

Oh. We don't have any apple pie.

THE HUMANITY!

I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck.

Mmm....warm. Cinnamon....apples...delicious, crispy crust that crunches just right in your mouth....Please help me.

I started writing my novel again! I went on a rather long hiatus, but I'm back to it, thank goodness! Almost to 40k, so more than halfway there. Please pray that I finish it.

By the way, I'm thinking about Aragorn, son of Arathorn again. I wonder why. It isn't like I looked at pictures of him on Google images AGAIN.

That would be silly.

Well, I totally got a new blog post idea. A list of fictional characters I have a major crush on. Look forward to it.

Oh! I doodled today. I think it turned out kind of well. It's a picture of a character from Axis Powers: Hetalia, an anime. Hetalia is a hilarious parody of WWII, using cute characters to represent each country. Each character is a stereotype of his own country. (France is lewd, America is fat and obnoxious, Germany is hard-hitting, etc.)

Here is the picture.

You may think this looks awful, but this is really good for me. I don't know if you know this, but my art skills are almost as bad as my dancing.

Almost.

Anyway, I should get off of here. I still have to go look at pictures of Aragorn -- I mean write in my novel for a little bit.

Have a good day, everyone!

Esther

Stream of Conciousness

Have you ever licked an ice cream cone while staring a monkey in the eye, wondering what would happen if you invented your own sock brand for kittens?

Neither have I.

Anyway, I am completely devoid of any good blog post ideas right now. So, like James Joyce, I have decided to release my stream of consciousness upon this medium. Or, simply put, I'll be making this post up as I go along. That means no editing, or no changing ideas. I'm just going from one thought to the next. I did this with another blog once. It's a good creative writing exercise when you are totally stuck for ideas.

Luckily, I'm not really short of ideas right now, at least on the novel-writing side. I have been working on the outline and setting for my fantasy novel for the past month, and the former is almost finished! Huzzah, hurray, and happiness abound! I hope to start writing the book soon. To be perfectly honest with you I'm tired of outlining. I've always found it a tedious process, but having written my first novel with out an outline, I realized that I do need the accursed things. Maybe, if you guys are interested, I will post experts from my novel as I am writing it. Does that sound okay to you?

Oh, one thing about free-writing is that whenever you get stuck, you write "I'm stuck, I'm stuck" over and over again until an idea pops in your head. That's about to happen to me write now.
I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck

AH! Forks! I was just thinking about forks the other day. I realized that if you bent off the first three prongs, you would have a single prong with which you could stab your enemies. I know that I don't really have enemies at the moment, but I think the single pronged fork would make an excellent weapon. Nobody expects to be stabbed by a fork, which makes it the ultimate stealth weapon.

ME: I'm just eating with my fork!

ENEMY: Why does it have one prong?

ME: TOO LATE I KILLED YOU.

ENEMY: I AM DEAD.

See? Genius.
I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck,

I'm thinking about clocks now. I don't know why. Now I'm thinking about rainbows. Now I am thinking of double rainbows. Now I am thinking about triple rainbows.

Oh my goodness, a triple rainbow. I think all of our minds would be blown at that point. What would the song be like? Would it be like

Triple rainbow, triple rainbow
going through the sky
blowing peoples' minds as it goes by
the rain has left a gift to us
a gift we all can see
let the triple rainbow inspire you and me

Hmm ... I dunno. It could have potential.

So I crochet a bit. Haven't been doing it a whole lot lately, since I have been focusing on writing instead.  I'm stuck, I'm stuck . . . I want to crochet a pokemon doll so bad! I'm having trouble understanding the pattern though. I'll try it again soon. Wouldn't it be cool to have a crocheted jigglypuff? Man, that would be so cool. My enemies would be so scared of me. I'll have to crochet a pokeball to go with it. I bet a pokeball wouldn't be too hard to make.

Clouds. . . BUNNIES! Ha, pickles. What is a "yulga"? It just popped into my head. I really like words with the letter "y" in them. . . I have a character named Rylu in a trilogy I'm planning. What do you think of it? It's a boy's name. Does it sound like a boy's name? Rylu is kind of hunky, so even if he was named Magenta I think he could pull it off. He's blond, yet I like him. I don't usually go for blonds. Except Niall of One Direction. I would marry that boy if I could.

Speaking of weddings, I want my wedding dress to be white. Sounds good, right? I don't want to to be red or black or anything. I think white just looks better. Although I am pale as a ghost myself, so that would probably make me look bad . . . like a ghost.

Ha ha. Oh my gosh, is there anything creepier than a bride ghost?

Wait, there is. A psychopath. I don't think there is anything scarier than a mentally competent psychopath. Out of everything in the world, a smart, psychopathic human scares me the most. I have one in another novel series I am planning . . . I need to write more.

Chicken . . . rhubarb . . . salad.  . . cotton . . . table

I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck ...

I wonder what purple smells like. It looks like a color that would have a good smell. Also, I must add, that odors are created by a special organic compound called a "ester". So yes, I smell good by nature. You are all jealous of my 100 percent in chemistry, I'm sure. Bow before me.

Explosives kind of make me excited. When things go boom, I scream really loudly, but I am still enjoying myself. Unless I was blown up. That would stink.

Speaking of being blown up, I love flossing my teeth.

And roller coasters. I want to go to a theme park soon so I can ride some. Of course, I need a roller coaster buddy. Those always make it more fun. But what if I slam into my buddy? See, my body doesn't respond well to g-force. In the presence of g-force, I am a rag doll. I guess I don't have a very strong spine. All the better to ride roller coasters, yes?

I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck

I'm stuck,
like a truck in the muck.
Give me a chance
and I will teach you to dance
drive across the flower petals
give me a sign
and I will sing a song across the fields of time
I'm thinking about goats now.

---

Okay! So that was a little look into how my mind works! Hope you enjoyed this somewhat random post. As you can see, I'm fond of songs, food, and writing.

I think that song about the rainbow could be a best seller. Just sayin'.

Don't ever get stuck,

Esther