Hey everybody!
I was totally at a loss of what to post today, so you can understand that I was disheartened.
SLOSHY THE KAPPA: Hey! You can write a post about me!
Yup, I was totally clueless.
SLOSHY THE KAPPA: I climbed Mount Everest recently! I ran into a dragon.
But then I realized I could post the next chapter of my novel! We leave off were the griffin left Marcus in the middle of the woods.
Here we go!
____
Chapter Thirteen
With the griffin having abandoned me, I stretch my aching muscles and take a look around. This forest is dominated by trees. I see little of other types of foliage around me. The trees have considerable space between them, but the canopy above is so thick that I am in perpetual shade.
That’s good, I guess. No sunstroke. A signal fire wouldn’t be very efficient though. Fires make me nervous, anyway.
The sun sets in the East, and that is the direction I’ll go. New Adlin and Maritha are to the west of Balta, neighbors to it, actually. It’s a shame that I have been dropped in the unpopulated regions of these countries, but hey, it could be worse.
I begin heading East and keep my eyes open for signs of water. I’m not hungry yet. It has been less than a day since the ship crashed, and I had stuffed my stomach full before then, but my throat is parched.
I begin a steady jog through the forest, warming up my legs. Another long journey in less than a month. Maybe I should take a vacation when I manage to find my way back home. A very, very long vacation.
I spot something in front of me. It looks like a small, black river rushing over the ground. When I get closer, I see that it isn’t water. It’s small, black chipmunks – or something that resembles them – and there are hundreds of the creatures. They aren’t startled at my presence at all, too absorbed in their fleeing to notice me. I look at the direction they flee from. I see swathes of smoke through the trees.
A forest fire?
No. My gut tells me it isn’t. Ironwood trees aren’t known for their flammability. But something must have startled these rodents out of their homes. Something big.
Logic tells me to run in the opposite direction of the smoke, so obviously I head for the source of the disturbance. Garret would yell at me for my lack of caution, but the unsafe route is always more fun, isn’t it?
It takes me little time to reach the source of the smoke. As I thought, it wasn’t a forest fire. The smoke and dirt begin to clear, and I see a large, bulky shape form itself.
To my eyes, it looks like a giant acorn. Of course, it isn’t an acorn. It is completely handmade. A propeller sticks out from the rounded top, and a giant parachute wraps itself limply around the tree trunk. The wood is shattered, exposing the cockpit inside.
It’s an escape pod. A small one, not like the ones onboard the airship. I run my hand across the length of it, thinking. Then I see Captain Eye Patch’s insignia emblazoned in the wood. So this did come from my airship!
My heart thuds with excitement. Maybe this was the one that Gray mentioned. If that’s the case, then maybe Vale is around here too. I climb into the cockpit. There is only room for one, two if you really squeezed. I see a cabinet marked “Emergency Supplies”. I open it, but it is empty. That means someone must have taken it, right? Maybe they are close by. They probably even left tracks, not expecting to be followed by hostiles. I might be able to find them.
“Hey!” a voice shouts behind me. It is high, clear, and feminine. I spin around and see the slave, Anne, standing ten feet away from me. Her hands are gripped around a large stick. Her chin is titled up, and her back is straight as a board. This must be her escape pod. So Vale isn’t here after all. My heart sinks.
The message!
She has the message. I can get it back.
“I’m not here to hurt you,” I say, my hands raised. I walk towards her. As I near her, I can see her enormous eyes hold a defiant light that does not belong to repressed slave girl. She lets me get close to her, just a few feet away. She has high cheek bones, and her face is flushed pink. Her nose has a turn up to it. It’s kind of cute.
Cute?
“Stay away from me,” she says, drawing back.
“Like I said, I’m not here to hurt you,” I say. “I’m looking for a box. Small, really pretty? Do you have it?”
She shakes her head so fast her hair looks like a puff ball when she stills.
“I know who you are. You’re that messenger. You can’t deliver that box to Balta. Do you know what message it holds?” she says.
“It’s my job to deliver,” I answer.
“And it’s my job to make sure that the message won’t ever hurt anyone,” she says. “Stay away from me!”
I grow impatient. It’s obvious I mean her no harm, but she’s so defensive.
“Listen, woman, I want to play nice, but you have to cooperate here.”
She shakes her head again.
“No!”
“I need it!”
“No!”
I lunge for her. I don’t mean to hurt her, but if I need to use force, I will.
What I wasn’t expecting was that she actually swung her stick.
It was a slow, clumsy swing, but I am caught off guard by the action and I fail to avoid it before it slammed into the side of my head. I fall onto the ground. My vision swirls like a whirlpool. I hear that stupid ringing again, and my entire body feels stiff.
“Bad man!” she shouts. She brings the stick back down on my diaphragm. The wind whooshes out of my lungs with an agonizing gasp. Through slit eyes I can make out her walking away, her back turned to me. Slave girl my butt. She is obviously some kind of humanoid demon.
I black out. Again.
-----------
Well, there you have it! Sorry that it is such a short chapter. I hope that you liked it okay.
Don't drink drink the black stuff,
Esther
Showing posts with label Kappa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kappa. Show all posts
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
Interview With a Kappa (Fantasy Questions)
Hey, my unicorns!
Today, I want to interview a Kappa.
A kappa is a monster of Japanese folklore that is part man, part turtle. The top of its head is hollow and full of water, and if the water sloshes out, the kappa is unable to move. It also has a perverted streak because . . . it's from Japan.
| Sloshy the Kappa has constipation. |
SLOSHY THE KAPPA: Hey, I'm totally available! I'm right here!
I'm sorry. Did you hear something, audience?
SLOSHY THE KAPPA: Don't worry! I can answer all of your questions!
Oh well. I guess it was nothing.
SLOSHY THE KAPPA: I know the cure for the common cold --
Let's get to the interview! I think today should have a fantasy theme, don't you?
So Esther, how do you feel about the fantasy genre?
I love fantasy! I love how you can make up entire worlds if you want to, and all the creatures and magic that go alongside it. I've always found the fantastical answers to the questions of the universe (How was world created?) by old civilizations to be fascinating, as well.
What's your favorite type of fantasy?
I adore fairy tales. I simply adore them. The tales of the Brothers Grimm in particular interest me. I love to read about how the fairytales of different cultures vary, and how they are the same, too. For example, there are several different variations of the "Cinderella" story.
What is your favorite fantasy creature?
I like griffins in particular. I like their potential intelligence and their flexibility of a monster. I also think they are kind of beautiful. I also like dragons, but not the big ones. I prefer wyverns, although they can get pretty big too, I guess.
What is your least-liked fantasy creature?
The manananggal or the penanggalan kind of freak me out, especially the latter. I haven't ever been a big fan of the the whole "entrails dangling from a floating head" thing. On a less obscure note, vampires and werewolves annoy me. It isn't really fair of me to hate them, though. I just can't stand the way they have been used in the popular media.
Maybe I should write a vampire love story.
What is your favorite fairy tale?
I quite enjoy "The Boy Who Set Forth to Learn What Fear Was", because it is funny and unique. I remember enjoying "Snow White and Rose Red" as a child. "Beauty and the Beast" is totally awesome, and not just because it was made into the best movie ever. "The Brave Little Tailor" is fun too.
What fairy tale do you dislike?
"The Little Mermaid" depresses the heck out of me. Just thinking about it makes me slouch in despair.
What is your favorite fantasy book?
I actually don't read a lot of fantasy books. Howl's Moving Castle, Skin Hunger, Fairest, Ella Enchanted, and a couple others come to mind.
What is your least-liked fantasy book?
Mistress of Dragons.
Oh my goodness, that book was something else. I suppose I could call it engrossing, but for all the wrong reasons.
What is your favorite fantasy cliche?
I actually enjoy most fantasy cliches. I mean, they are cliches because people like them, so they were used a lot.
What is your least-liked fantasy cliche?
The one were the mentor always has to die, and the one where all heroes start out as humble farm lads. (I have used the latter myself. Twice. Call me a hypocrite.)
What is your favorite "fantasy" song?
Call me cliche, but this.
It blows my socks off.
What is your favorite fantasy name?
Well, Rylu and Sephryn.
They both have "y" in them. That's because I like "y".
Who is your favorite fantasy character?
Okay, this is only because of his movie representation, but Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings.
Isn't he beautiful?
*sigh*
*sigh*
I'm going to watch The Two Towers, now, so I guess I should go. I'm not leaving because I just looked at pictures of Aragorn on the internet and I need some LoTR, I swear.
I swear it.
SLOSHY THE KAPPA: Wait! What about me?
Darn it, I think I heard a noise again. Maybe it's the pipes leaking.
SLOSHY THE KAPPA: Come on lady! Why am I trapped in this cage --
Oh look at the time!
Don't let a kappa flip up your skirt or kilt,
Esther
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Haiku Ninja
Hello, avid readers and Almondo. Today I present you with the wonder that is the haiku.
AUDIENCE: YAY!
I have always been fond of the humble haiku. Can you blame me? They are probably the most succinct form of poetry available. Easy to make, but difficult to master, the haiku provides a short literary challenge to any writer willing to test themselves.
What is the haiku? Thank you for asking! The haiku is a poem of three lines. The first line contains five syllables, the second contains seven syllables, and the third line contains five syllables again. Basically, they look like this:
Five, seven, then five
syllables mark a haiku
aren't they lovely?
If you followed my previous blog, you must know my adoration for these simple forms of art. I like to call myself Haiku Ninja, Master of Haikuism. That's the highest rank you know. The ranks are
Sandal Scraper
An00bis
Onigiri
Cherry Blossom
Kappa
Haiku Samurai
Haiku Ninja
Right now, you are all Sandal Scrapers, and scrapers you shall remain if you do not choose to embrace the haiku! Call me sensei, please. If you follow my ways, you may reach the level of Kappa. But honestly, you probably should aim higher than Kappa. Nobody likes a humanoid turtle who peeks up girl's skirts.
Japan mythos is kind of . . . well, erm. . .
Yeah.
For your edumication, I will make up some haikus for you. Please, read on with adoration.
Final Fantasy XIII-2
Noel has finally
changed his horrific sack pants
he now wears tutus
Jello
I stare at my plate
watch it jiggle, shake, and bend
And then I think, "Why?"
The Mall
I buy some clothes
I sit down and watch people
I am very bored.
Orange
Nothing rhymes with you.
I will buy the dictionary
and create "Florange".
Final Fantasy XIII-2-2
Noel lost his tutu.
Thank the Lord that it's done with,
but now he wears kilts.
My Diamond Sword
You cannot afford
my diamond sword. If you could
I have a patent.
Love
When your stomach flops
and the world shakes and rotates
Love has come for you
Love II
When your stomach flops
and the world shakes and rotates
you might have the flu.
Toaster
Stare at the toaster
wait wait wait wait for the bread
POP! AH! SO STARTLING!
Novel
I love you but please
could you write yourself a bit?
I need a small break
Homework
Why why why why why
why why why why why why why
why aren't you done?
Final Fantasy XIII-2-3
Noel lost all his kilts
They were tossed upon a fire
He cries. And we laugh.
And there you have it. These are the skills of a haiku ninja. If you wish to obtain my massive skills, you must receive proper training. Write a haiku everyday, and someday you will be almost as good as me. Let us start your epic journey today. Respond to this blog post in haiku form and I will up your rank from Sandal Scraper to An00bis. I look forward to being your sensei.
No go read some manga. You have some studying to do.
Your sensei,
Esther
AUDIENCE: YAY!
I have always been fond of the humble haiku. Can you blame me? They are probably the most succinct form of poetry available. Easy to make, but difficult to master, the haiku provides a short literary challenge to any writer willing to test themselves.
What is the haiku? Thank you for asking! The haiku is a poem of three lines. The first line contains five syllables, the second contains seven syllables, and the third line contains five syllables again. Basically, they look like this:
Five, seven, then five
syllables mark a haiku
aren't they lovely?
If you followed my previous blog, you must know my adoration for these simple forms of art. I like to call myself Haiku Ninja, Master of Haikuism. That's the highest rank you know. The ranks are
Sandal Scraper
An00bis
Onigiri
Cherry Blossom
Kappa
Haiku Samurai
Haiku Ninja
Right now, you are all Sandal Scrapers, and scrapers you shall remain if you do not choose to embrace the haiku! Call me sensei, please. If you follow my ways, you may reach the level of Kappa. But honestly, you probably should aim higher than Kappa. Nobody likes a humanoid turtle who peeks up girl's skirts.
Japan mythos is kind of . . . well, erm. . .
Yeah.
For your edumication, I will make up some haikus for you. Please, read on with adoration.
Final Fantasy XIII-2
Noel has finally
changed his horrific sack pants
he now wears tutus
Jello
I stare at my plate
watch it jiggle, shake, and bend
And then I think, "Why?"
The Mall
I buy some clothes
I sit down and watch people
I am very bored.
Orange
Nothing rhymes with you.
I will buy the dictionary
and create "Florange".
Final Fantasy XIII-2-2
Noel lost his tutu.
Thank the Lord that it's done with,
but now he wears kilts.
My Diamond Sword
You cannot afford
my diamond sword. If you could
I have a patent.
Love
When your stomach flops
and the world shakes and rotates
Love has come for you
Love II
When your stomach flops
and the world shakes and rotates
you might have the flu.
Toaster
Stare at the toaster
wait wait wait wait for the bread
POP! AH! SO STARTLING!
Novel
I love you but please
could you write yourself a bit?
I need a small break
Homework
Why why why why why
why why why why why why why
why aren't you done?
Final Fantasy XIII-2-3
Noel lost all his kilts
They were tossed upon a fire
He cries. And we laugh.
And there you have it. These are the skills of a haiku ninja. If you wish to obtain my massive skills, you must receive proper training. Write a haiku everyday, and someday you will be almost as good as me. Let us start your epic journey today. Respond to this blog post in haiku form and I will up your rank from Sandal Scraper to An00bis. I look forward to being your sensei.
No go read some manga. You have some studying to do.
Your sensei,
Esther
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