Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Wonderful World of ... Potatoes

Hello everyone!

It's nine o'clock on a ... *checks calendar* Wendesday. I just ran up and down the stairs for fifteen minutes in an effort to stay in shape. I am very tired. But if Hannah can post, then so can I.

So I began thinking of thinks to write about. There is an ocean of ideas to write about, but when I stick my hand in the ocean, I lift my hand and see that it's dry. It's like I'm wearing an idea-proof rubber glove. But I can't take the glove off! Even when I so desperately wish to challenge that scumwad who flipped me off today to a gentlemanly duel by slapping him with my glove. Alas.

Anyway, I was thinking and realized that a lot of things go unnapreciated. For example, even though I am incredibly talented, I remain undiscovered by show-business. But there are other things too! We live our lives without realizing the things that make such a difference in our lives! So I'm going to write about something amazing, incredible, and influential.
The potato.

It turns out that the potato is one of the most awesome things ever. Like, look at it. It's like, totally glowing.

Here are some interesting facts about the potato.

It's the fourth most cultivated food in the world.

In 1536, Spanish Conquistadors discovered the potato and brought it to Europe.

Idaho, which is now the largest producer of potatoes, did not grow potatoes until 1836. Missionaries moved to the state to help the native tribes grow crops instead of relying on hunting and gathering. Isn't that nice?

In 1995, the potato was the first food grown in outerspace.

The world's largest potato weighed 18 pounds.

Marie Antoinette was known to wear potato blossoms with her outfits to make herself look snazzy.

The potato was actually more valuable than gold during the Klondike Gold Rush. While gold was everywhere, food was scarce. Since the potato was nutrient rich, it was expensive as gold, but only between 1897 and 1898.

Americans eat more potatoes than any other vegatable. On Super Bowl Sunday alone approximately 28 million pounds, or 12,700 tonnes, of potato chips are eaten in the states.

Now, isn't that interesting? The potato truly is glorious. Here is a haiku written in the potato's honor.

Potatoes are gold
metaphorically though
since they are just plants

That's great. Just great.

Anyway, I'll see you some other time with wonderful, underrated things. Until then! Say goodbye!

SLOSHY: Goodbye--

I was talking to the potato.

SLOSHY: Sorry....

POTATO: ....

Go on, potato.

POTATO: ....



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